you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
