You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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