I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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