Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
did i just pee glitter
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
