Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
