Non-Jews are for practice
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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