dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
