On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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