Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
