Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
