my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
