Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
