we have officially lost it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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