Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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