After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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