Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
