Don't you send me to vm
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
