CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
