let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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