Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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