i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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