So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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