Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and she was petting her beer can
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
