hotel room ftw
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
