And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
