Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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