found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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