I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
