You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize