i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
