I think im going to throw up on grandma
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
