I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize