How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
