just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
