Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
