Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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