capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
