maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
