so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
