he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
