On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
