Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
