I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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