Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
