wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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