quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize