she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
