Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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