So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
