everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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