So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize