Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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