yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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