OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
