i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
