I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
