My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
ok first of all what the fuck
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
