just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
