i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
sick fucks of a feather flock together
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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