I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
