i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
