Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
