Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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