i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
