How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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