Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
