Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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